Charcoal Drawing

I'll admit it - this has been a tough week for me. I feel stuck for some reason, and I know it's the restless artist in me that is not being creative or challenged enough. I have to admit also that I was freaking out after going to art school and then getting a job that I go to every day that couldn't be farther from art. So I went to Blick on my day off yesterday to buy a pack of charcoal pencils.

I needed to draw. I thought I'd go through some old pictures I took in Italy and make a sketch of something. But after several years of figure drawing and portraiture, I needed to draw a face. And who better than my grandfather, who passed away last September.

I have a couple photos of him that I keep in my shelf along with one of his hats. I saw it and knew I had to draw it. I'm about 2 years old in this picture on Papa's lap, him pointing at the camera for me to look at and smile at the bottom. I have to admit I was a little scared as well - what if after all this time I couldn't do the one thing that I loved so much in this world? What if I couldn't give Papa what it was that made him so special?

You can check out the photo and the drawing and see for yourself. I am so happy with the way it came out - and I have to say, it really was like riding a bike. After the first few lines of suggesting the forms, I got right back into it. I sketched out all of the forms, became obsessed with the shadows. This is what I had gone to school for. This is what I had taken loans against to develop: there's no question in my mind at all that I truly followed my passion. Now I just have to reconcile it with my everyday - if that means squeezing in drawing between my calligraphy jobs, work, and the gym, so be it.

I guess that's all we can really do in life: find what it is that makes us happy, then follow through.

In Loving Memory: PurpleHeart

I wanted to create a line in memory of my grandfather, Raymond J. Wysocki, an Iwo Jima survivor and Purple Heart participant. He passed away while I was abroad, in September, and he continues to be on my mind and in my heart.



In light of his service and passion for his country, I create the purple heart line. This is going to be marketed and distributed as the Positivity: OneWord and Tide Shirts have been, but my vision is on a much larger scale. I want to enact a financial plan that will allow me to donate a portion of all sales to wounded veterans and their families, ideally through Soldier's Angels - the great organization I rejoined last month after a year break.



After the first marketing research phase as "PurpleHart", which was a graphic design decision, I decided to go with the correct spelling. (That, and I was sick of doo-dahs saying, "You know 'heart' is spelled wrong, right?" ((insert snooty remark here))

The design is embroidered on 100% organic tshirts, bags, and military caps. I decided the writing portion was too much on the tshirts and hats, so it's completely on the bags, which are funky designs and in coordinating color schemes of tan, brown, and green. I've got a great-quality messanger bag that I'm completely in love with and use all the time, and there's also a chocolate brown bucket bag, and a green tote.



The hats are tan, gray, and camo, all sporting the simple Purple Heart graphic, as do the t-shirts. We've also got a great hoodie that we're eyeing and threw some skulls on at the moment because the sizing was a bit too big.

I'll keep you posted as the Purple Heart line continues to develop. Please check back in and see how you can help and when the different products are available for purchase at my etsy site. Thank you!

In Honor of Raymond Wysocki, Sr.

I just wanted to have this more as a personal remembrance page -

My grandfather was very ill before I left for Italy in August. In the first few weeks in September, he took a bad turn. I was unable to come home to say goodbye, but I wrote him a letter and asked a friend to bring it to him to read it. Here it is, love and miss you forever, Papa <3 *9/17/2009*



Papa,

It pains me to have this letter given to you by someone else rather than myself in person. I’m not sure if I can thank you for touching my life such a fulfilling and beautiful way in a single letter, but I can try.

Of all that I can remember from my childhood, the most significant presence has been you. You were my rock, my foundation, and helped me grow into the person that I am today. I continue to live each day in the lessons and values you have taught me by your example; some of which are justice, honor, and pride for my country.

You were like a father to me when I was younger, when we hadn’t had Sam or Olivia yet. I can remember how much time I spent with you while Mom and Dad were at work. I’d go on your errands with you, to the grocery store, BJ’s, to the beach to collect smooth stones for that project in your backyard. I loved when you would take me to the carousel and wait patiently for me to pick the perfect horse every time to ride. When I first started walking home from St. Jerome’s by myself, you sat on a folding chair at the end of the driveway to see that I would get home safely. I had always felt that you would be there to take care of me.

You encouraged my creativity every day by keeping a Steno pad tucked into the Cadillac, telling me to draw something every day while we drove around. We would also play games, like I Spy (which you always let me win) and you would listen to and laugh at all of my jokes. You also would sing along with me to Disney tapes in the car. I haven’t gotten any better at singing, by the way.

These past few years have been so difficult for you, and I have seen it. Your spirit, which has always been so strong and fighting, has always remained. Even before I left for Italy I could still see it shining through. All I want for you is peace, as much as I want you for myself. I need for you to know that I love you and that you will never be forgotten. You have such a special meaning for me, and you are so important to me for reasons I can’t even begin to try and capture into words. I need also for you to forgive me that I can’t be with you, but I am taking you with me where ever I go. Even during every future moment I have yet to experience, like my wedding day and the birth of my first child.

I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I’ve left. I’m going to conclude with a poem taken from a song that reminds me of you that I have been listening to a lot recently.
Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight

I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm

This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

Because you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart
Always

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
And then I'll be with you
But you got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Believe me, you'll be in my heart
I'll be there from this day on
Now and forever more
I'll be with you
I'll be there for you always
Always and always
Just look over your shoulder
I'll be there always

Papa, I love you so much.

All of my love forever,
Ashley