I just wanted to have this more as a personal remembrance page -
My grandfather was very ill before I left for Italy in August. In the first few weeks in September, he took a bad turn. I was unable to come home to say goodbye, but I wrote him a letter and asked a friend to bring it to him to read it. Here it is, love and miss you forever, Papa <3 *9/17/2009*
Papa,
It pains me to have this letter given to you by someone else rather than myself in person. I’m not sure if I can thank you for touching my life such a fulfilling and beautiful way in a single letter, but I can try.
Of all that I can remember from my childhood, the most significant presence has been you. You were my rock, my foundation, and helped me grow into the person that I am today. I continue to live each day in the lessons and values you have taught me by your example; some of which are justice, honor, and pride for my country.
You were like a father to me when I was younger, when we hadn’t had Sam or Olivia yet. I can remember how much time I spent with you while Mom and Dad were at work. I’d go on your errands with you, to the grocery store, BJ’s, to the beach to collect smooth stones for that project in your backyard. I loved when you would take me to the carousel and wait patiently for me to pick the perfect horse every time to ride. When I first started walking home from St. Jerome’s by myself, you sat on a folding chair at the end of the driveway to see that I would get home safely. I had always felt that you would be there to take care of me.
You encouraged my creativity every day by keeping a Steno pad tucked into the Cadillac, telling me to draw something every day while we drove around. We would also play games, like I Spy (which you always let me win) and you would listen to and laugh at all of my jokes. You also would sing along with me to Disney tapes in the car. I haven’t gotten any better at singing, by the way.
These past few years have been so difficult for you, and I have seen it. Your spirit, which has always been so strong and fighting, has always remained. Even before I left for Italy I could still see it shining through. All I want for you is peace, as much as I want you for myself. I need for you to know that I love you and that you will never be forgotten. You have such a special meaning for me, and you are so important to me for reasons I can’t even begin to try and capture into words. I need also for you to forgive me that I can’t be with you, but I am taking you with me where ever I go. Even during every future moment I have yet to experience, like my wedding day and the birth of my first child.
I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I’ve left. I’m going to conclude with a poem taken from a song that reminds me of you that I have been listening to a lot recently.
Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry
For one so small
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry
Because you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart
Always
When destiny calls you
You must be strong
And then I'll be with you
But you got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together
'Cause you'll be in my heart
Believe me, you'll be in my heart
I'll be there from this day on
Now and forever more
I'll be with you
I'll be there for you always
Always and always
Just look over your shoulder
I'll be there always
Papa, I love you so much.
All of my love forever,
Ashley
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